Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos yesterdays be VERY excitin! PumpkinHead, that be Pigface's bestest friend in the hole wide world, went and done started a fire on purpose. He done sets fire to the neighbours house. haha! He donts likes the neighbours so he decided to sets they house on fires.
They be insides. They donts know nothins be goins on outsides. It be real early mornins. PumkinHead says he started the fire and then went and waited. Ma Bell and her two other ugly sons done comes out to watches too. They all wait. They all watch the fires grow and grow.
Someone must have seen da fire causin the police and fire peoples ALL cames. They donts put on they alarms so the people insides the house on fire didnt knows nothins still. Buts then a cop done knocks on they door to tell them and try to gets them out.
Ma Bell, PumpkinHead and her other 2 ugly boys done waited and laughed and laughed and laughed when they saws the horrors on the peoples inside da home on fires comes out. They be SO scared! Haha Losers. Ma Bell says she couldnt stop laughin. It BE so funny.
Ma Bell say it be the best trick EVER. It be SO funny watchins them run from they burnin house. They be fires and smokes everywheres. But she done say there not be much damage to the house. And da people gots out. Dang.
But she be REAL mad now cause her precious PumpkinHead done gots in troubles. She dont think that be fair at ALL. She be REAL mad now. The neighbours of da burin house done moves out. Ma Bell dont know why NO one ever done stays?
So wishes I could have watched the show of the da burinin house! Maybe next time PumpkinHead sets fire to a neighbour, Ma Bell's cans warn us aheads of time! Ma Bell says PumpkinHead be settin fires ALL the times. He be in troubles LOTS of times. But she say it NOT be his fault. He be a great kid. And she be a great mom. PumpkinHead just be 'mis-under-stood' is all.
Anyways that be my big excitin news folks.
later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
the whoa is me pity party
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos just sittin heres in my campin chair smokin and drinkin and starin and bullyins. Mondays be most fun to pick on and call names to ALL the neighbours as they comes and goes to works cause they be in bad moods already sos me and Creepos just pushes them over the edge. Just try gettin past us. Haha losers!
It be a fun day.
Alls excepts Lawnboy and his mommy dearest. They be sittin in their campin chairs ALL mornins complainins about each other and who has the shittiest life.
This here be a segment of them bitchins:
Lawnboy: Nobody done like me. And I BE so cool and SO nice.
Mommy: I be even nicer than yous. I BE a great mom and granny. I be the BEST ever.
Lawnboy: Nah. I BE the coolest ever.
Mommy: Everybody done leaves me. Nobody buys me nice presents. I expects very nice things for my birthdays, Christmases, Easters, Mommy's days, Halloweens, Thanksgivin. Nobody done gives me good things.
Lawnboy: You dont buys me a gifts since I be 16. Or you gives me hand me downs craps or garage sales stuff.
Mommy: hand me downs and garage sales stuffs be fines for you. But I need good stuffs.
Lawnboy: Nobody donts likes me. I aint got no friends unlesses I gives them stuffs or do stuffs for them.
Mommy: I dont gives a shits for nobodys except me
Creepo done goin CRAZY listenins to them. He says he done gonna go play with his wood. Whatevers that means. I REALLY gots to get rid of Mommy dearest and Lawnboy. I really must lures them away.............
I be goin nutz.
later bitches,
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos just sittin heres in my campin chair smokin and drinkin and starin and bullyins. Mondays be most fun to pick on and call names to ALL the neighbours as they comes and goes to works cause they be in bad moods already sos me and Creepos just pushes them over the edge. Just try gettin past us. Haha losers!
It be a fun day.
Alls excepts Lawnboy and his mommy dearest. They be sittin in their campin chairs ALL mornins complainins about each other and who has the shittiest life.
This here be a segment of them bitchins:
Lawnboy: Nobody done like me. And I BE so cool and SO nice.
Mommy: I be even nicer than yous. I BE a great mom and granny. I be the BEST ever.
Lawnboy: Nah. I BE the coolest ever.
Mommy: Everybody done leaves me. Nobody buys me nice presents. I expects very nice things for my birthdays, Christmases, Easters, Mommy's days, Halloweens, Thanksgivin. Nobody done gives me good things.
Lawnboy: You dont buys me a gifts since I be 16. Or you gives me hand me downs craps or garage sales stuff.
Mommy: hand me downs and garage sales stuffs be fines for you. But I need good stuffs.
Lawnboy: Nobody donts likes me. I aint got no friends unlesses I gives them stuffs or do stuffs for them.
Mommy: I dont gives a shits for nobodys except me
Creepo done goin CRAZY listenins to them. He says he done gonna go play with his wood. Whatevers that means. I REALLY gots to get rid of Mommy dearest and Lawnboy. I really must lures them away.............
I be goin nutz.
later bitches,
Tanktop Tammy
Saturday, September 24, 2011
hates ya too. haha loser
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos I wokes from my slumbers to hears mommy dearest screamins. She be screamins she done just sats in piss. I yells that just be Lawnboy's piss. He be pissin on da couch agains. Donts worry, he do it all the time.
No signs of Lawnboy Larry this mornin. He done left his piss behinds. And his dirty underwears all overs. And socks. And tshirts. They be REAL smellies. Likes booze and hookers smells. He done leaves me some more of his hate notes. He likes to leaves little notes tellin me hate things all over da house. I collects them and reads them to Creepo. He likes it. It makes him laugh lots. Today I done collected 5 hate notes. But one was for his mommy dearest. But I tooks it and reads it too.
Numbers one note reads 'I hates you'. Number twos be 'you takes away ALL my funs. And I hates you'. Number threes be 'I hates you'. Number fours be for mommy dearest: 'hates you mommy dearest. hates you hates you hates you. Forevers'. And last but nevers leastest Numbers five 'I hates you. And you suck. And you be NOT cool like I be. Or my pals. And I hates you'.
Creepo done loves readins them. I gets lots of them EVERY day.
Sos just spendins my day sittin on my campin chairs and drinkins, and smokins and bullyins. That be my favourites. And I be tryins to dodge mommy dearest. She be outs shoppins for herself rights now. Thank gods.
Needs another cigarettes. See ya suckas.
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos I wokes from my slumbers to hears mommy dearest screamins. She be screamins she done just sats in piss. I yells that just be Lawnboy's piss. He be pissin on da couch agains. Donts worry, he do it all the time.
No signs of Lawnboy Larry this mornin. He done left his piss behinds. And his dirty underwears all overs. And socks. And tshirts. They be REAL smellies. Likes booze and hookers smells. He done leaves me some more of his hate notes. He likes to leaves little notes tellin me hate things all over da house. I collects them and reads them to Creepo. He likes it. It makes him laugh lots. Today I done collected 5 hate notes. But one was for his mommy dearest. But I tooks it and reads it too.
Numbers one note reads 'I hates you'. Number twos be 'you takes away ALL my funs. And I hates you'. Number threes be 'I hates you'. Number fours be for mommy dearest: 'hates you mommy dearest. hates you hates you hates you. Forevers'. And last but nevers leastest Numbers five 'I hates you. And you suck. And you be NOT cool like I be. Or my pals. And I hates you'.
Creepo done loves readins them. I gets lots of them EVERY day.
Sos just spendins my day sittin on my campin chairs and drinkins, and smokins and bullyins. That be my favourites. And I be tryins to dodge mommy dearest. She be outs shoppins for herself rights now. Thank gods.
Needs another cigarettes. See ya suckas.
Tanktop Tammy
Thursday, September 22, 2011
hearts attacks
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos just sittin here with Creepo my bestest friend forever.
Lawnboy finally done comes home late yesterdays. He be real miserable and reakin of booze. He says he hads a real good times with his new pals. They wents outs to eats and saw some really good movies. He says he be SO cool.
Then he beelined for his bathroom for a few hours. When he done wakes up he wents to checks on his stash. He finds some of its gone. Creepo likes to takes things now and thens. Lawnboy done freaked out REAL good and starts screamin 'wheres be my beers? wheres be my beers?' Creepo just laughed. Lawnboy done looked real deranged.
Then he caughts sights of his mommy dearest. He done screams and runs back inside. Mommy dearest STILL be hears. It be the longest 3 days of my life. It be REAL horrible. She done tries to tells me hows to do everythings. She says I be a very BAD mother. She says she be a good mother. She done tooks off from her kids when they be young so that makes her goods. She done brings me a beers but then takes it back ifen I donts drinks it in an hours time. She be eatins ALL my foods. And she says my house be a mess. She says my brats are screwed up. She says my hair is gross. She says Creepo done looks like a orc. Whatevers that is? She says my campin chairs be ugly. She says I shoulds makes her lunch so she has the energies to shop for herself. And ifen I donts she probably could haves a heart attacks. I wished she woulds haves a heart attacks........
She sittin now watchin my neighbours. She especilly likes to watch KooKoo. She thinks KooKoo be knocked up but I say she just gettins fats.
Anyway, life be hell with mommy dearest round. Gots to finds a way to gets rid of her.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos just sittin here with Creepo my bestest friend forever.
Lawnboy finally done comes home late yesterdays. He be real miserable and reakin of booze. He says he hads a real good times with his new pals. They wents outs to eats and saw some really good movies. He says he be SO cool.
Then he beelined for his bathroom for a few hours. When he done wakes up he wents to checks on his stash. He finds some of its gone. Creepo likes to takes things now and thens. Lawnboy done freaked out REAL good and starts screamin 'wheres be my beers? wheres be my beers?' Creepo just laughed. Lawnboy done looked real deranged.
Then he caughts sights of his mommy dearest. He done screams and runs back inside. Mommy dearest STILL be hears. It be the longest 3 days of my life. It be REAL horrible. She done tries to tells me hows to do everythings. She says I be a very BAD mother. She says she be a good mother. She done tooks off from her kids when they be young so that makes her goods. She done brings me a beers but then takes it back ifen I donts drinks it in an hours time. She be eatins ALL my foods. And she says my house be a mess. She says my brats are screwed up. She says my hair is gross. She says Creepo done looks like a orc. Whatevers that is? She says my campin chairs be ugly. She says I shoulds makes her lunch so she has the energies to shop for herself. And ifen I donts she probably could haves a heart attacks. I wished she woulds haves a heart attacks........
She sittin now watchin my neighbours. She especilly likes to watch KooKoo. She thinks KooKoo be knocked up but I say she just gettins fats.
Anyway, life be hell with mommy dearest round. Gots to finds a way to gets rid of her.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
Monday, September 19, 2011
the visit
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos sittin in my garage causin it be rainins outsides. Dont wants to get wets. Whilst watchin and bullyin my neighbours. What a bunch of losers. Goins to work and doing 'stuff'. I can justs sits here ALL day long. Haha losers.
Sos Lawnboys mommy dearest done shows up REAL earlys this mornins. Crap. I tolds her Lawnboy not be home. He donts be home in two days. But she says she likes to visits when he not be home. She says she be travelin SO much. She be gone everywheres. And it be SO much fun! She done broughts with hers two years worths of birthdays presents for my brats. She done gives Pigface a snuggly pjs with the feets attached. Pigface done threw ups on it. She done be 7, she donts wear snugglys no mores. And for SuperDuper (that be my favourite one) she done gives him a onesie that be two sizes two small. Sos SuperDuper done be tryins to put the onesie on the neighbours cat.
I done asks her how long she be plannin to stays. But she says she donts know. Dang. This is goin be a crappy days. And days to comes.
Think I will go beats up a nieghbours just to feels better. Now where did KooKoo gets to............
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos sittin in my garage causin it be rainins outsides. Dont wants to get wets. Whilst watchin and bullyin my neighbours. What a bunch of losers. Goins to work and doing 'stuff'. I can justs sits here ALL day long. Haha losers.
Sos Lawnboys mommy dearest done shows up REAL earlys this mornins. Crap. I tolds her Lawnboy not be home. He donts be home in two days. But she says she likes to visits when he not be home. She says she be travelin SO much. She be gone everywheres. And it be SO much fun! She done broughts with hers two years worths of birthdays presents for my brats. She done gives Pigface a snuggly pjs with the feets attached. Pigface done threw ups on it. She done be 7, she donts wear snugglys no mores. And for SuperDuper (that be my favourite one) she done gives him a onesie that be two sizes two small. Sos SuperDuper done be tryins to put the onesie on the neighbours cat.
I done asks her how long she be plannin to stays. But she says she donts know. Dang. This is goin be a crappy days. And days to comes.
Think I will go beats up a nieghbours just to feels better. Now where did KooKoo gets to............
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
Friday, September 16, 2011
ohohs and other stuffs. Oh I BE the awesomest!
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos I be wearins my most favourite tanktop and short shorts today! It be bringin backs GOOD memories of gettins drunk and pukin ups. The good old days.
And I thinks I should gets an awards for being the BEST mom EVER. I be SO awesome. I be the BEST. I deserves an awards bitches.
Anyways, Pigface done tells me thats todays be PumpkinHeads birthday. Sos I grabbed a bottle of beer from Lawnboy Larrys stash and done gives it to her to gives as a gift. Dont know how old this kid is but I knows he drinks. And he be 'held back' a few times froms graduatins. So he be tens or elevens? I dunno. It donts matters. He keeps Pigface busy and keeps her away from me!
Bad news done comes in a letter folks. Lawnboy Larrys loser mommy that he done calls 'mommy dearest' done be sayin she done come to visit us. Oh oh. Lawnboy Larry done says mommy dearest done hates his guts and that he done hates her guts too. But she be comin cause it be her birthday soon and she wants presents. Dang. That will SUCK big time.
Havent seen Lawnboy in a few days. He be off slinkin round with da hookers. He gots a new stash of condoms. Creepos founds them. He likes to raid Lawnboys stash every few days. Sees if he can takes anythin. Lawnboy wonts likes mommy dearest comins. Haha loser.
Anyways, I gots to get backs to my stoop to beatups some more neighbours. That be my favourite. Next to drinkins.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos I be wearins my most favourite tanktop and short shorts today! It be bringin backs GOOD memories of gettins drunk and pukin ups. The good old days.
And I thinks I should gets an awards for being the BEST mom EVER. I be SO awesome. I be the BEST. I deserves an awards bitches.
Anyways, Pigface done tells me thats todays be PumpkinHeads birthday. Sos I grabbed a bottle of beer from Lawnboy Larrys stash and done gives it to her to gives as a gift. Dont know how old this kid is but I knows he drinks. And he be 'held back' a few times froms graduatins. So he be tens or elevens? I dunno. It donts matters. He keeps Pigface busy and keeps her away from me!
Bad news done comes in a letter folks. Lawnboy Larrys loser mommy that he done calls 'mommy dearest' done be sayin she done come to visit us. Oh oh. Lawnboy Larry done says mommy dearest done hates his guts and that he done hates her guts too. But she be comin cause it be her birthday soon and she wants presents. Dang. That will SUCK big time.
Havent seen Lawnboy in a few days. He be off slinkin round with da hookers. He gots a new stash of condoms. Creepos founds them. He likes to raid Lawnboys stash every few days. Sees if he can takes anythin. Lawnboy wonts likes mommy dearest comins. Haha loser.
Anyways, I gots to get backs to my stoop to beatups some more neighbours. That be my favourite. Next to drinkins.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
dang bastard and other stuff
Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy. Sos this mornins whilst havin my mornin beers, Pigface done starts screamins. She done yells that the couch be ALL wet AGAINS. Dang that Lawnboy Larry. He done peed on that couch AGAINS. I saws him slinkin offs sos I asks him if he done peed on that couch agains. And he just shuggs. Icky. Disgustin. He says he goin outs agains and he gots some new friends. And they BE way cooler than me or Creepos or the brats. They be the best friends ever. And alls he gots to do to keeps them is to do stuffs for them. Like fixes things. Or mow they lawn. Stuff like that. He says it be a good deal causin they be SO cool. And the rest of us can suck it.
No way man. I be the coolest EVER. Next follows Creepos.
Sos I done gives SuperDuper (he be my favourite one) a ball and stick. He done supposed to play on da road with it. BUT he decided to smack the crap out of the neighbourhoods kids. Oops. That be my boy. I be such a GOOD mother. The best in facts!
Pigface done gots home sent a letter from the teacher. That she be bullyins agains. Here we goes agains folks. I done gotta go in and haves a 'word' with this here new teacher and to sets her strait. Creepos done says this happens to him EVERY years too with his 3 brats. He says bullyins fine to do and if any teacher done say it aint then they gonna get smacked. You tells them Creepo!
Anyways, I gotta go smack done some neighbours. See you losers,
Tanktop Tammy
its me agains Tanktop Tammy. Sos this mornins whilst havin my mornin beers, Pigface done starts screamins. She done yells that the couch be ALL wet AGAINS. Dang that Lawnboy Larry. He done peed on that couch AGAINS. I saws him slinkin offs sos I asks him if he done peed on that couch agains. And he just shuggs. Icky. Disgustin. He says he goin outs agains and he gots some new friends. And they BE way cooler than me or Creepos or the brats. They be the best friends ever. And alls he gots to do to keeps them is to do stuffs for them. Like fixes things. Or mow they lawn. Stuff like that. He says it be a good deal causin they be SO cool. And the rest of us can suck it.
No way man. I be the coolest EVER. Next follows Creepos.
Sos I done gives SuperDuper (he be my favourite one) a ball and stick. He done supposed to play on da road with it. BUT he decided to smack the crap out of the neighbourhoods kids. Oops. That be my boy. I be such a GOOD mother. The best in facts!
Pigface done gots home sent a letter from the teacher. That she be bullyins agains. Here we goes agains folks. I done gotta go in and haves a 'word' with this here new teacher and to sets her strait. Creepos done says this happens to him EVERY years too with his 3 brats. He says bullyins fine to do and if any teacher done say it aint then they gonna get smacked. You tells them Creepo!
Anyways, I gotta go smack done some neighbours. See you losers,
Tanktop Tammy
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