My Day by Lawnboy Larry

Hi,
this is me. Lawnboy Larry. Whatever you do, don't be tellin Tanktop Tammy that I be on her blog. Cuz she be killin me.
Anyway, this is My Day by Lawnboy Larry.

Okay, so I got up round 11:30 or so I thinks it was? Lit up a cigarette. Went to the toilet to relieve myself. Saw myself in the mirror and said 'my my, what a handsome face'.
Put on some pants and a t-shirt. Went downstairs and ate a poptart. Lit up a cigarette.

Put on my boots (well only one boot cuz thats all I could find). Put on a shoe. On my other foot. Placed my super cool most favourite baseball cap (it's the red one I likes best) just right on my head. Saw myself in the mirror. Yep, so cool. Went to Tims and gots a coffee and a donut. Lit up a cigarette.

Went back home and stood in the driveway. Just starin (it be my favourite). Relieved myself in the driveway. Laughed hard cuz my pees melted the snow. Cool. Lit up a cigarette.
Went into the garage and fell asleep on the couch.

Woke up at 4 pm to my kid bangin me in the head with a fryin pan. Pushed him away. Lit up a two cigarettes and gave one to SuperDuper (he be our favourite one). I like to give him cigarettes cuz it makes him cough. It be funny. Besides I think he be 3 now.

Stood at the door of the garage. For about two hours. Starin. My kids be runnin around and around and around on the driveway. Relieved myself in the bushes. Lit up a cigarette.

Stared as all the neighbours came home from work. Suckas. I would work but my Daddy pays for everything. Plus a thing called welfare pays me pretty good too.

Tanktop Tammy came home from Creepos and told me that she be goin to the exercise class with Creepo now. I supposed to feed the kids. She left. So I called up my Daddy to watch the kids for me. I be busy. I went to the mailbox to see if my super best beer (I ordered last week to come) be there. Put on my sad face. It not be there. Went home, asked my daddy for some money. Went to Tims to eat soup, chili and coffee and donuts too. Relieved myself outside the Tims.

Went home and stood in the driveway. Stared for a couple hours. Lit up a cigarette. Relieved myself. Fell asleep on the couch in the garage.

Woke up to Tanktop Tammy hittin me in the head with her purse. She tells me to go to bed. It be 2 am now. And I have another full day tomorrow. She reek of beers. So I crawls upstairs and slide into my bed.

That be my day suckas. Tomorrow I will do the exact same thing and the day after that, and the day after that...............

over and out,
Lawnboy Larry

ps I used red ink cuz it be my most favourite colour