Granny's Party

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos I tried to crash a party the other day. Yeah I know, I actually left my campin chair. Well, not officially. My campin chair came with me. Cause it was stuck to my ass. Couldn't get it off
Sos the party was at Granny's house and I wanted to go cause of the cupcakes she makes. And I like to steal ALL the food, cause it will feed my brats for days sos I don't have to slap a sandwich together for them every couple days. It saves me big to steal.
Sos someone done slashed my tires on my ugly white truck (Larryboy Larry's loser daddy gaves us that there truck for our 'cuttin lawns' business). Sos I grabbed Lawnboy Larry and my two brats and done hitch hiked over to that there stupid party. Just as I was a-stealin them there cupcakes and other food stuffs, Stupidman done come a runnin at me. He done threw a pitch fork at my favourite kid SuperDuper. But SuperDuper don't care too much. Then Stupidman done try to chop off me head with a scythe, but I done grabbed a-hold of that there scythe. Ain't nobody done gonna chop off my head. Sos then Stupidman done got scared and cried for Granny. Then all them party peoples done come over and tried to wrestle me down but I fought back and was a-winnin. Cause I'm real tough see. And cool too. But then somethin that done smelled worst than Lawnboy Larry done jumped on my back and bit into my meaty flesh. I ran for it with Lawnboy Larry squealin and the brats screamin. We hid in the bushes til that there party was over and done stoled lots of food.
Then at night we decided to get up and leave when Granny done shot me. In the ass. Luckily she be bad at aimin that there gun. Luckily too I done still have that there campin chair still stuck on me ass. Bullet didn't pass through. Me ass is fine.
All of that was WAY too much for me. Only ONE day a year will I adventure off me stoop.
Too tired to smoke, well not really, what kind of losers too tired to smoke.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

And don't be gettin none ideas to come by me place to steal none of that there food, I done stole it fair and square. And if you come sniffin round I done snap you in two.