Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy.
sos, I been busy. And not the sittin- on -my -ass -type busy.
Last tuesday, Creepo done played his favourite game of 'hold Pigface's head under the water' game. Creepo be a-callin it 'slam-dunk'. But I guess he done held her head in too long this time. Her body went done flop. Sos we took hers to emergency. Them doctors and them nurses done shook their heads at us. Turns out Pigface was fine, and was just holdin her breath too long. Long enough til she done pass out. They let her come home a couple hours later. Unfortunately. I was hopin they'd be a-keepin her longer. That be too bad.
Sos then on wednesday, Lawnboy Larry be helpin Creepo move his there chunks of wood round the yard. This be Creepo's favourite hobby. Movin chunks of that there wood. Well, Lawnboy Larry done yell out a horrid screechin yelp. Turns out there was a nail done stuck in that there chunk of wood that he don't see. It sunk it's teeth straight into Lawnboy Larry's third finger, that be his longest one. Sos we done hike back up to that there emergency again. The nurses and them doctors too, done shake their heads again. Turns out Lawnboy Larry done have 5, count em, 5 stitches. And they done give him a lollipop too. Pink. That be his favourite.
I was hopin they be keepin Lawnboy Larry for a couple days too.
Then on thursday, LittleBastard done got hit by that there car. He done got run over real good. Squashed. Sos we go back to that there emergency. They done keep LittleBastard.
Friday Creepo done got caught on fire. He be a barbieQin some hamburgers and done tried to flip them up in that there air. But one hamburger done got caughts on fire and when he go to flip it, it done come back down on his there face. He be on fire! Lawnboy Larry done saves the day by a-peein on Creepo's face. Lawnboy Larry's pee done put out that there fire. We couldn't really tell if Creepo's face was burnt or not cause that be his normal look. But we takes him up to that there emergency. Them doctors and them nurses done look plenty mad. Sos they let out Creepo AND LittleBastard too.
Then there's saturday, LittleBastard be a-playin on his there dirty ol trampolenie with BratGirl and they be a-startin fightin. And BratGirl done pushes LittleBastard clear off that there trampolenie. LittleBastard done fell and squealed somethin awful. We thinks hes got a broken bone sos Lawnboy Larry done tried to snap it back in. But that just makes LittleBastard squeal more and louder too. Sos Creepo done take him to that there doctor again. They still gots LittleBastard. He didn't get no lollipop. But Lawnboy Larry done got one again. Causin he stole it.
Sunday, we done had a rootin-tootin good ol party. We done woot-woot, and whoop-whoop, and hoot-hoot ALL night. Then Creepo done be real drunk and done smashed a beer bottle over Lawnboy Larry's head. Lawnboy Larry fall down. Lawnboy Larry not be gettin back up. Sos we takes him to that there emergency again. He done need 6, count em, 6 stitches this time. Lawnboy Larry done not feel no pain cause he be a-smokin them funny cigarettes again. He be a-gigglin the whole time that there doctor done be sewin him up.
He got another lollipop too. Orange flavour.
Sos now it be monday. And I be a-sittin here in my campin chair. Smokin and drinkin and starin and hangin. Lawnboy Larry's still passed out. Creepo and CB be a-sittin on my swing. LittleBastard be still in that there hospital. They be SO lucky to have one kid gone. I wish it were Pigface.
BratGirl and CryinGirl be fighting over a stick. Pigface be screamin real loud like. SuperDuper be a-standin and a-starin.
Sos that be my week folks. Got to go and kick at Lawnboy Larry to done wake up sos he can makes me some lunch.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
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