I am officially widowed, bitches.
Tanktop Tammy
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
My Day by Lawnboy Larry
Hi,
this is me. Lawnboy Larry. Whatever you do, don't be tellin Tanktop Tammy that I be on her blog. Cuz she be killin me.
Anyway, this is My Day by Lawnboy Larry.
Okay, so I got up round 11:30 or so I thinks it was? Lit up a cigarette. Went to the toilet to relieve myself. Saw myself in the mirror and said 'my my, what a handsome face'.
Put on some pants and a t-shirt. Went downstairs and ate a poptart. Lit up a cigarette.
Put on my boots (well only one boot cuz thats all I could find). Put on a shoe. On my other foot. Placed my super cool most favourite baseball cap (it's the red one I likes best) just right on my head. Saw myself in the mirror. Yep, so cool. Went to Tims and gots a coffee and a donut. Lit up a cigarette.
Went back home and stood in the driveway. Just starin (it be my favourite). Relieved myself in the driveway. Laughed hard cuz my pees melted the snow. Cool. Lit up a cigarette.
Went into the garage and fell asleep on the couch.
Woke up at 4 pm to my kid bangin me in the head with a fryin pan. Pushed him away. Lit up a two cigarettes and gave one to SuperDuper (he be our favourite one). I like to give him cigarettes cuz it makes him cough. It be funny. Besides I think he be 3 now.
Stood at the door of the garage. For about two hours. Starin. My kids be runnin around and around and around on the driveway. Relieved myself in the bushes. Lit up a cigarette.
Stared as all the neighbours came home from work. Suckas. I would work but my Daddy pays for everything. Plus a thing called welfare pays me pretty good too.
Tanktop Tammy came home from Creepos and told me that she be goin to the exercise class with Creepo now. I supposed to feed the kids. She left. So I called up my Daddy to watch the kids for me. I be busy. I went to the mailbox to see if my super best beer (I ordered last week to come) be there. Put on my sad face. It not be there. Went home, asked my daddy for some money. Went to Tims to eat soup, chili and coffee and donuts too. Relieved myself outside the Tims.
Went home and stood in the driveway. Stared for a couple hours. Lit up a cigarette. Relieved myself. Fell asleep on the couch in the garage.
Woke up to Tanktop Tammy hittin me in the head with her purse. She tells me to go to bed. It be 2 am now. And I have another full day tomorrow. She reek of beers. So I crawls upstairs and slide into my bed.
That be my day suckas. Tomorrow I will do the exact same thing and the day after that, and the day after that...............
over and out,
Lawnboy Larry
ps I used red ink cuz it be my most favourite colour
this is me. Lawnboy Larry. Whatever you do, don't be tellin Tanktop Tammy that I be on her blog. Cuz she be killin me.
Anyway, this is My Day by Lawnboy Larry.
Okay, so I got up round 11:30 or so I thinks it was? Lit up a cigarette. Went to the toilet to relieve myself. Saw myself in the mirror and said 'my my, what a handsome face'.
Put on some pants and a t-shirt. Went downstairs and ate a poptart. Lit up a cigarette.
Put on my boots (well only one boot cuz thats all I could find). Put on a shoe. On my other foot. Placed my super cool most favourite baseball cap (it's the red one I likes best) just right on my head. Saw myself in the mirror. Yep, so cool. Went to Tims and gots a coffee and a donut. Lit up a cigarette.
Went back home and stood in the driveway. Just starin (it be my favourite). Relieved myself in the driveway. Laughed hard cuz my pees melted the snow. Cool. Lit up a cigarette.
Went into the garage and fell asleep on the couch.
Woke up at 4 pm to my kid bangin me in the head with a fryin pan. Pushed him away. Lit up a two cigarettes and gave one to SuperDuper (he be our favourite one). I like to give him cigarettes cuz it makes him cough. It be funny. Besides I think he be 3 now.
Stood at the door of the garage. For about two hours. Starin. My kids be runnin around and around and around on the driveway. Relieved myself in the bushes. Lit up a cigarette.
Stared as all the neighbours came home from work. Suckas. I would work but my Daddy pays for everything. Plus a thing called welfare pays me pretty good too.
Tanktop Tammy came home from Creepos and told me that she be goin to the exercise class with Creepo now. I supposed to feed the kids. She left. So I called up my Daddy to watch the kids for me. I be busy. I went to the mailbox to see if my super best beer (I ordered last week to come) be there. Put on my sad face. It not be there. Went home, asked my daddy for some money. Went to Tims to eat soup, chili and coffee and donuts too. Relieved myself outside the Tims.
Went home and stood in the driveway. Stared for a couple hours. Lit up a cigarette. Relieved myself. Fell asleep on the couch in the garage.
Woke up to Tanktop Tammy hittin me in the head with her purse. She tells me to go to bed. It be 2 am now. And I have another full day tomorrow. She reek of beers. So I crawls upstairs and slide into my bed.
That be my day suckas. Tomorrow I will do the exact same thing and the day after that, and the day after that...............
over and out,
Lawnboy Larry
ps I used red ink cuz it be my most favourite colour
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
valentines day bitches
Hello folks,
sos summers been comin sometime, and I gots to lose some fats. I done joined a wait loss programs called TitiBiti. I done lose 2 whole pounds of fats! I'm SO awesome! That bikini done gonna fits real good. I am gonna looks SO pertty.
Sos yesterdays was Valentines day. Sos I hung out at Creepos place ALL day, in his garage. Instead of mine garage. Cause Lawnboy Larry done gets SO weird on Valentines day. He runs around the neighbour hood pluckin dead flowers and gives them to me. I ain't gots no use for dead flowers. Or for Lawnboy Larry for that matter.
Creepo and I did sneak out for a tiny bit to steals candy from passerbyers. Lots of people comins and goins outside the smoke and candies store. Creepo hides behind a car and jumps out at them, unsuspectin like and scares the HELL out of them. It be So funny. Sos then when they jump in fears and drops their goodies, I sneaks up and steals them. Sometimes we switch places and I do the scarens. They seem to scream especially loud when they done sees me. Don't know whys. Since I be SO pertty.
Sos anyways, Creepo and I got LOTS of candies. We ate them all in his garage. Then I puked.
Then I had to go home. Lawnboy Larry be passed out on the sofa and my brats be screamin at the top of their lungs again. Sos I drugged them with gravol and they went to sleep. Then I tooks some time for myself. Cause I deserves it, bitches.
Sos all in all it not be a bad Valentines day.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
sos summers been comin sometime, and I gots to lose some fats. I done joined a wait loss programs called TitiBiti. I done lose 2 whole pounds of fats! I'm SO awesome! That bikini done gonna fits real good. I am gonna looks SO pertty.
Sos yesterdays was Valentines day. Sos I hung out at Creepos place ALL day, in his garage. Instead of mine garage. Cause Lawnboy Larry done gets SO weird on Valentines day. He runs around the neighbour hood pluckin dead flowers and gives them to me. I ain't gots no use for dead flowers. Or for Lawnboy Larry for that matter.
Creepo and I did sneak out for a tiny bit to steals candy from passerbyers. Lots of people comins and goins outside the smoke and candies store. Creepo hides behind a car and jumps out at them, unsuspectin like and scares the HELL out of them. It be So funny. Sos then when they jump in fears and drops their goodies, I sneaks up and steals them. Sometimes we switch places and I do the scarens. They seem to scream especially loud when they done sees me. Don't know whys. Since I be SO pertty.
Sos anyways, Creepo and I got LOTS of candies. We ate them all in his garage. Then I puked.
Then I had to go home. Lawnboy Larry be passed out on the sofa and my brats be screamin at the top of their lungs again. Sos I drugged them with gravol and they went to sleep. Then I tooks some time for myself. Cause I deserves it, bitches.
Sos all in all it not be a bad Valentines day.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)