Thursday, May 24, 2012

Long Weekend Blues

Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy. Sos just sittin heres with Creepo (my bestest friend in da hole wide world). We be drinkin and smokin and starin and bullyin and sittin. It be a good mornin.

It be a long weekend this weekend pastest. And it done suck. It started offs real good. I done sents my brats offs to loser daddy for da hole weekend! Causin I needs the break. Lawnboy Larry be partyin at his Pinky Pals house. But then it all go down hills when Lawnboy done comes home. Reekins of booze. He done past outs on my couch and pisses heself AGAIN. Whatevers you do, don'ts let Lawnboy sleeps on your couch!

Anyways when he comes to, he done be stompin round da house havins a hissy fit. Creepo done calls him a DIVA causin of his hissy fits. He be sulkin and screamin and be  real nasty likes. Me and Creepo and da brats likes him betters when he be not talkins to us insteads. But anyways, he says he and his bestest coolest pal Pinky dones have a fight. Not causin who is gonna drives homes from da bars drunks or who has to pays for the hookers, but Pinky Pal done finds out Lawnboy done puts what you call a 'key-loggins' on his computers. Pinky Pal be REAL mad. Causin Lawnboy be readins ALL his emails and everythings. Lawnboy just shrugges. So whats? he says. He says he puts one on ALL computers. Espeecially computers he done gives to little teenager girls. Espeecially the ones he dones have crushes on. Sos he donts gets why Pinky Pal be mad. Hes just readin his emails and knows all his private stuffs. Sos Pinky Pal done says he gonna puts one on Lawnboys computer. Thats when Lawnboy freaks out! And stomps off. Sos now we stuck with hims. Me and Creepo gots to gets Lawnboy and his Pinky Pal backs togethers agains somehows. It be better he be offs partyin and goin to them movies and restaurants and all that cool stuffs than be pissin and boozin on my couch blastin da tv all nights. Afteralls when we finally do gits rid of Lawnboy, he wills have to lives with his Pinky Pal. Causin no one else cans stands him.


Thinks thinks thinks. We gots to comes up with a plans. A super duper goods plans.

Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Saturday, May 5, 2012

hey bitches

Hello folks,
its me agains Tanktop Tammy.
Sos just sittin heres in my garages causin it be rainins outsides. Creepo (my bestest friend in da hole wide world) be sittins with me. We be doin lots. Sittin, drinkin, smokin, starin, bullyin, callin names, it be a good mornins. Til Lawnboy done wokes up. He be passed out for 2 days causin he be drinkin 2 muches agains. He sure dos likes to drinks. He done yells at me and Creepo that he be 'taperecordins' us. So what done says Creepo. And then Lawnboy says that he be knowin EVERYTHIN we done says. And Creepo done says back Sos whats?. Then Lawnboy freaks out and runs off down the streets yellins nobodies donts loves him. Stupid bastard.

KooKoo done comes over yesterdays and she be tellin me that I done be 'deelutional', I thinks I spelt that right. I be a good spelliners. I be SO awesome!
Anyways, KooKoo done says that I be deelutional causin I thinks I be awesome and beeutiful and be not either. And she says Lawnboy be deelutional causin he thinks he gots friends when he donts, he just gots peoples that 'uses' him to gets stuffs and he only gots 1 friend, his drinkin pal Pinky, causin ALL drunks only gots one drinkin pal, it be in all the books bout drinkins too muches.

Sos I punched her. Not causin bouts Lawnboy, thats ALL be trues, evens his own moma and loser daddy cants stands him, they says he be ugly and not just on the outsides eithers, BUT I done punches her causin she say I not be awesomes or beeutiful. And I be both.

Haha loser. In yer face,
Anyways, I gots to get back to my campin chair,
later bitches,
Tanktop Tammy