Monday, November 22, 2010

Creepo

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Had a good weekends of partying. So much partying to be done, such little time. I'm just sittin in my garage, smokin. Lawnboy Larry's passed out by the beer fridge. He had a long day of doin nothin. Again. The brats are screamin at each other. Again.

Creepo, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, has done told me that he be thinkin abouts gettin a job. He be thinkin he can do what he done calls 'work outs'. I don't know what that means but he seems all happy. I tolds him NOT to do it. WHAT will I do ALL day without Creepo????

He be breakin my heart.

He be my bestest friend EVER. Actually, he be my only friend ever. Lawnboy Larry don't count. Sometimes I wish I was widowed. Sometimes I wish Lawnboy Larry done be crushed under a big truck tire! Or shredded to bits by a lawn mower.

Anyway, I sure do hopes Creepo not get a job.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

ps workins for chumps

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm Awake Bitches

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos I'm up. And awake. Sort of. Been a good birthday week. I spent the whole week drunk or asleep. It's good to take it easy once in a while after all.
Sos we celebrate everyones birthdays on my birthday. Lawnboy Larry and me gots Pigface a new bike. Lawnboy Larry done swipe it from a neighbourhood kid. He didn't use it that much. And besides, the idiot shouldn't have left it on his front yard if he don't want it stolen. Right? Right.
Pigface seems to likes it. She can't ride it too good cause we never done show her how. SOs she falls down alot. What a loser. For my favourite SuperDuper, we gots him a new toy truck and a riding truck. We 'found' that at a garage sale. It's amazing what people will give away when they don't realize it.
Lawnboy Larry done gives me a cigarette and a beers and a rub down. I gave Lawnboy Larry a kick in the head. Hahahaha. I'm so funny.
My bestest friend in the whole wide world Creepo done bought me a Tim's coffee. It was very very good.
Dagwood the loser brought me some beers and weenies. How did he knows I likes weenies.
It be a good birthday week.
Guess I should go see where the brats are. Haven't really seen them ALL week.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
ps I sure could use a babysitter. Any takers?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Happy Birthday to ME. Losers.

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos it be me birthday. I beleive my actual birthdate is November 8th. A kind of crappy day to have a birthday. But it be mine. Sos this weekend I am having a big big big party. With lots of weenies, lots of cigarettes and lots of balloons.
It's gonna be a big big party. Too bad it ain't your birthday losers.

Sos I am gonna celebrate Lawnboy Larry, Pigface and SuperDuper's birthdays too. I can't be bothered to remember all them birth dates. Sos I celebrates them all together. On my birthdate. I think Lawnboy Larry be in September or maybe it's October? Pigface is sometime in the spring? And my favourite, SuperDuper. I think I squeezed him out sometime in mid winter? I was high on drugs at the time. It be hard to remember.

Sos we invited my very bestest friend in the whole wide world Creepo. And his lovely bride CB. And their 3 brats too. I hope I gets some nice presents.
Sos we gonna party like there's no tomorrow. KooKoo and Ralphio done take off. Haha losers. They not be invited.
It's gonna be a good party ALL weekend!!!!

See you when I wake up.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween Times

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Boy do I ever have a headache. Spents the entire weekend drunk. It was SO much fun! Too bad you losers weren't invited. Haha. Losers.
Lawnboy Larry says he don't ever gets no hang overs cause he always be drunk. It be a good way to not get hangovers.
So we had woot woot hoot hoot hollerin party. Creepo, CB and their brats partied with us. KooKoo done take off.
On Sunday (the day of trick or treatin) I thinks I done hands out candy to all the brats? I do remember some big teens throwin their candies at me. And they called me something? But I can't remembers much.
Pigface done be ats PumpkinHead's house ALL weekend AGAIN. It be so good. And Dagwood and his weird pals done take SuperDuper my favourite out trick or treatin. They done brought him back round midnight and he done still be passed out ALL day. He's gots some bruises and a big cut on his arm but it ain't nothin much. Dagwood said he done fells down. I wonder when he'll wake up?
Pigface missed school today done cause she ain't home yet. Or maybes Ma Barker done take her? I don't care.
Weird. My house be done covered in toilets paper? Don't remember doin that? Sos I had Lawnboy Larry pick it all ups and folds it sos we can done use it again.
Had me a good breakfast though. Someone done left smashed eggs all over my car. Sos I had Lawnboy Larry done barbieQ them. Yum. They sure be tasty.
It be a good halloween time.
See ya suckas.
Tanktop Tammy