My Day by Tanktop Tammy

What did I do today you ask? I sat on my stoop and smoked and drank and stared and yelled insults as my neighbours came and went.
Yep, it was a pretty good day!
Tanktop Tammy

Creepo's Kids

Hey Folks,

It's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Everyone knows that my very bestest friend in the whole wide world is Creepo.

Well, he has a lovely bride (I will tell you about her another time) and three wonderful kids.

His kids names are LittleBastard, CryingGirl and the youngest is BratGirl.

Their favourite things to do are: jump on a rickety old disgusting tattered trampoline. They jump on that there trampoline ALL day and ALL night. And they like to scream at the top of their lungs the WHOLE time too and push each other off it! Pretty cool huh!

Once in a blue moon they jump off that there trampoline sos they can bully smaller kids, tramp through gardens and jump in front of moving cars. In the summer time, they like to swim in their pool. The water in that there pool goes from yellow to green to brown. Neat colours! And the cool thing is NO ONE watches them while they are in that there pool. Creepo and his bride like to sit in the front of my house on my stoop ALL summer while his wonderful kids swim in that there pool in their backyard.

Yep, they're a pretty COOL family and I hope my kids will be just like theirs someday!!

Well, I gotta go losers, back to my stoop!

Tanktop Tammy

by the way, LOVING my mullet!

Toenail results in

OK, so the results are pretty much in on What colour should I paint my toenails- looks like purple wins. But I'm totally going with red cuz my lovely toes do look best in red. I'll go tell Lawnboy Larry!
thanks losers

Ok, it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. So I've decided to get this here haircut. Yep, I'm bringing the mullet back folks, or did it ever leave? I think I'll look real cool in this here haircut.

Hi Folks,

It's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos I guess it be time to introduce you to my kids. As I've says before, I've got two of them. One's named Pigface, that's my girl. Her favourite things to do are: play in the street, scream at the top of her lungs, terrorize small animals, rip the heads off pretty flowers, and play in dirty puddles.

My boy (who is my favourite by the way) is named SuperDuper. He likes to pick his nose. That's his favourite. He also likes to scream, drink from dirty puddles, and sit in his cage.

Here's a picture of my kids. Beauties huh!

Anyway, I gotta run, Lawnboy Larry tried to cook some burgers on that there barbieQ and done seered off his eyebrows again. He's screamin somethin awful, I'd better tell him to shut it up sos Koo-koo doesn't go and call them there police on us again.

Later losers.

So all you losers voted on what colour flipflops I oughta wear tomorrow. Well, screw you all- I'm going for my new neon pink ones. Haha losers. Like you really thought I'd let you decide on my fashion sense. Don't you know nothin? I SET the fashion sense round here.
Anyways, still can't find my red flipflops. Thinking maybe Dagwood done stole them and buried them as treasure. He always did admire my red flipflops.

Neighbour

Hi folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. And I'm hear to tell you about my neighbour.

Her name is Koo-koo. She done split last year. Disappeared. For like 9 months. She was in the Loonie Bin, sos we hear tell. But then she came back.

We ain't friends or nothin but we do spend alot of time staring at each other. She likes to spend ALOT of time outside in her backyard, just standin there, and sometimes she pokes her fingers through the holes of the fence to try and get Creepo's dog to bite her. She likes reportin people ALOT! She loves to call the police and the Humane Society and the City and anyone else she can think of, to complain. One time I sneezed too loud and she called the police on me. Yikes. They done give me a warnin, that's she's CRAZY! Turns out, them police and all have a huge report on her, cuz they say she's nutz. Cool.

She don't scare me none though, cuz me and Lawnboy Larry are cool, man.

She loves to stare ALMOST as much as I do!

Well, that's my neighbour.

oh oh, Lawnboy Larry was playin on his skateboard and fell off and done got bruised up. He got a sliver too. I had to take it out. He sure did cry, like a BABY.

All that cryin made Koo-koo call them police again.

Anyway, here's a picture of Koo-koo, and yep, that's her real hair folks.

Lawnboy Larry

Forgot to mention in my last post on Lawnboy Larry, he's mad at me cuz I done forgot to mention that he likes skateboards. He loves his skateboard. Last Saturday, he nearly broke his neck on it. Haha loser!

This here is Lawnboy Larry's skateboard. He does love pink so.

Lawnboy Larry done stole these here signs when he was out cuttin lawns.

So this here's my boyfriend, Lawnboy Larry. DON'T get any ideas you females cuz he's all mine.

So some have asked what does Lawnboy Larry like to do. Well, I know he likes to cut lawns. And he likes to sit on my front stoop too. His favourite drink is Pepsi and any kind of alcohol. He's real cool cuz he smokes AND wears a cap. The cap is usually turned around too. SO that makes him especially cool. He was cool way back in high school too. That's where we met. We didn't learn nothin but we did look cool cuz we were the ones outside smokin and terrorizin all you idiots when you tried to walk past us. Yep, we were pretty cool. And we STILL are cuz we haven't changed at all! I've attached the latest picture of Lawnboy Larry-enjoy:

Them there my toe nails folks. Beauties huh!

I'm goin make Lawnboy Larry paint them for me, but I need you to vote on a colour first.

My Bestest Friend

This is my very bestest friend in the whole wide world. His name is Creepo.

We have SO much in common. He doesn't work either AND he has his own campin chair! I know! What are the odds of that!

So my very bestest friend Creepo and I sit together ALOT on my front stoop smokin and drinkin and sittin. We sit and sit for hours watching Pigface play in the street. SuperDuper, I put in a cage. Creepo made it for him. Sweet!

Creepo's favourite things to do (when he's not sittin with me on my front stoop in his own campin chair) are: wandering aimlessly around his and other people's backyards, sittin high up in trees watching people in their houses and, well, that's about it really. Oh and he likes coffee. He takes his old dirty coffee cup to Tim Hortons and they keep refilling it for him. He really likes coffee.

Well, that's my best bud, and that's it from me, gotta run and get some more cigarettes!

Tanktop Tammy