Stupid Party and Pigface

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos Dagwood's a real loser. Invites me and Lawnboy Larry to his there barbieQ and then doesn't have enough weenies or beer! Not evens any balloons. What kind of party is this? Then some of them losers started singin. And nobody ain't hootin or hollerin. Lawnboy Larry says it ain't no party til there's drunkeness and hoot-hoot, and woot-woots. I says it no party with no weenies. I sure do like them weenies.
What a loser party that Dagwood done have.

Sos we done left fast. And done come home and invited Creepo and CB and their brats over to our place. Then we done have a REAL party. Creepo and I found some old balloons from last weekend and we done patch them up and then we had a REAL party. With weenies and beers and patched up balloons and woot-woots and toot-toots and lots of hollerin. And Creepo did his slam dunk to Pigface. Though she don't like it no more since he slams her face into a mud puddle and it be cold. But it was a good party.

It be SO nice to have Pigface at school ALL day! Three more years and I can git rid of SuperDuper. He be my favourite still but it sure be nice not to have him around no more.
Be sure nice not to have Lawnboy Larry around ALL day too. He don't be workin at cuttin them lawns for like ever now. He be smokin funny cigarettes and drinkin and passin out and playin with his skateboard. He watch our brats when I go to 'yoga'. He don't say nothin no more bout me gettin fatter. Ever since I pelted him one.

But Lawnboy Larry's even cuttin into my relaxin time with Creepo. We spent years just a-sittin and starin and smokin and scowlin. Be sure nice to get Lawnboy Larry out of the house.
There's gots to be somethin I can do to get rid of him.

Next week I gots to go in to Pigface's school causin her teacher done wants to talks to me. The teacher, I call her Mrs Weenie Face, done says that Pigface is a mean bully and nobody at the class done likes her. I says so what. And I be glad she a bully. I was a bully in school too. Lawnboy Larry and I were cool. But anyways Mrs Weenie Face still wants to talks to me.

Well, that's it from me, gotta go and get another cigarette. The days be gettin colder. Soon I will haves to sit in my garage and stare and scowl and smoke.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

ps don't work too hard. Hahahahahahaha, losers.

Saturday Night Party Time

Hello Folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Friday night Creepo and me went to 'yoga'. Yoga be good. Lawnboy Larry done asks me why I am NOT losing no weight. He done says that I look fatter. Sos I clubbed him one on the head. He don't wake up yet.

Saturday night we's done have a party. That nut Dagwood done take my brat Pigface with hims and he's friends to what they call a 'cottage'. I was SO happy. No Pigface for 2 days!!!! Sos we done have a party to celebrates. Lawnboy Larry done woke up just in time for this here party. He sat in the corner most of the night sipping them funny cigarettes real slow like. Creepo, CB and me just did our usual of hoot hoot, and woot-woots and Creepo yelled out 'slam dunk' every so often even thoughs there weren't any water or Pigface round. NO Pigface. This be my bestest most favourite weekend of ALL time. Loser daddy done brought over them usuals of weenies and beers and I told hims to bring some balloons. This kind of event calls for balloons. Me and Creepo done write ALL over them there balloons "NO PIGFACE". Hahahaha, ha!

Now it be Sunday ( I think?) when you don't gots no job or hobbies and spend ALL your time on your front stoop, sometimes you done forgets what day it might be. What a life it be!
Sos anyways, I thinks it be Sunday now cause that nut Dagwood done bring home Pigface. She puked on my foot. There goes me bestest favourite weekend.
Now where is Lawnboy Larry gone? I needs some lunch.

Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Another Party Folks

Hello again,
it's me Tanktop Tammy. Sos we had another party last night. Well, pretty well round here 'every night's party night'. It's great to be jobless. This party wasn't as good as last week's party cause we didn't spring for balloons. But we did have loser daddy comes over to gives us beer and weenies. That be our favourite. We sats ALL night and woot-woot and toot-tooted. It was a good time.

Today I finally done got to take my first born brat Pigface to school. I was SOOO relieved to finally get rid of her. When I brought her in, the teacher gasped in horror and flinched a little. Dunno why? The other kids all ran away. Good. They should be afraid of her. Be very afraid. Cause if she's anythin likes me, she's goin to be a great bully! I am SO happy!

Sos after I gots to get rid of her, I took SuperDuper to KooKoo's but she done bring him back soon afters, sayin he done teach her precious child some naughty words. Sos I stuck him in his cage for the rest of the day. And then went and sat on my stoop with Creepo and stared and smoked and scowled and sat.
Lawnboy Larry done sleep ALL day. Whens he finally done get up, he played with his skateboard a wee bit. And paced the front sidewalk. Starin.
It was a good day. Til Pigface came home.
later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Big Party Aftermath

Hello Losers,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos our Big Big Party was a success. Sort of. We had weenies and beer and more beer. We hooted, and tooted, and hollered and woot wooted ALL night. Well until Lawnboy Larry passed out. KooKoo, as usual, called the cops on us exactly at 11 o'clock. Why does she always call at that exact hour anyways?
Anyway, we didn't listen to them there cops. Why should we? This be our Big Big Party. Sos we partied on. In our garage cause it was a-rainin. We blasted our music ALL night. Til Lawnboy Larry passed out round 3 am. Then my brats passed out round 4 am sos it was just me and Creepo and CB and their brats. We put one of my bras on Lawnboy Larry last night after he done passed out. We laughed and laughed.
Now it's the next day and Lawnboy Larry's still wearin my bra. He hasn't noticed. Loser.
CB, Creepo and me all just sittin in my garage starin and scowlin as neighbours come and go. My favourite be to stay in the garage til they come closer and then run out real fast and snarl at them. That be my favourite lately.
Loser daddy done come over and gives gravol to Lawnboy Larry cause he's been pukin ALL day. Sos I sent loser daddy back to that there store for some groceries and smokes and more beer. Now I'm just hangin. It's good to relax once in a while. I deserve a break. Think I'll call up loser daddy to come bring some of that there macdonalds for dinner cause Lawnboy Larry can't barbieQ seein how he's passed out and pukin and all.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy
ps I got a perm two days ago. I look real pertty.

Big Big Party Tonight Losers

Big Big Party Tonight Losers. And ain't none of you losers invited. It's a-gonna be a rootin, tootin, hollerin, howlin one hell of a party. We even sprung for balloons, bitches. Yep we roll BIG. Especially when it's loser daddy's money. We're gonna have weenies and beer and more beer. Lawnboy Larry's super excited. We's invitin Creepo and CB and maybe even KooKoo. We're gonna dump the kids somewhere. Not sure where yet. Or we could just let them hang with us. They likes beer too. Makes them sleep REAL good when we's gives it to them.
We's gonna have music and hangs out in the garage ALL night. Too bad you're not all invited losers.
Gotta run, Lawnboy Larry done gots scared again when that there balloon went pop in his face.
later losers,
Tanktop Tammy