Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I'm A Winner, losers


Hello folks,

it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos thanks to Dagwood I wins me a award. Something called the Prolific award. Have NO clue what that there word means but thinks I likes it.

Sos just sittin on my stoop ALL day waitin for the big woot woot hoot hoot halloweenie party this WHOLE weekend! Can't waits to fill my belly with weenies!


Really really looking forward to Saturday cause Pigface is gonna be gone at her bestest friend forever house and SuperDuper, my favourite is gonna be with Dagwood and his weird buddies. Now if I can just get rid of Lawnboy Larry.


Anyways thats it from me.

Later losers,

Tanktop Tammy

Monday, October 25, 2010

Hangin

Hello folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos just sittin here hangin. Pigface be at PumpkinHead's place again. She done spent the weekend there again. It be SO nice without Pigface. Don't knows when they be bringin her back.

Lawnboy Larry done put up a big old sign on our front lawn that done says 'cuttin lawns' on its. I thinks maybe Lawnboy Larry may be goin back to cuttin them there lawns. He can't decides. He done likes bein on welfare. And he done likes takin all his loser daddy's moneys too. But sometimes he be missin cuttin them lawns. Me. I likes just sittin. Drinkin. And smokin.
Creepo and me just sittin ALL day today. Doing nothin. It be good.

Sos halloweenies be comin ups soon. I'm gonna do what I do every year. Sit on my front stoop and scare them brats away. I don't needs no costumes. It be my natural face that done scares them brats away. That ways I gets to keep ALL that candies for me. If Lawnboy Larry not be passed out again, I'm gonna makes him take SuperDuper out trick or treatin. That ways I can gets more candy. Pigface done be goin out with her new bestest friend forever PumpkinHead. He sure be one ugly kid. But they sure do likes each other.

We gonna have a halloweenie party ALL weekend too. Woot woot, hoot hoot and weenies. And lots and lots of beers. Yummy. Too bad you suckers ain't invited. haha

Well, gotta go, gets me some dinner. Where the hell is Lawnboy Larry gotten to? Mes and Creepos gettin hungry.

Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Ma Barker

Hello folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos just sittin here on my stoop sippin on my cigarette, beer in hand, life is good. Lawnboy Larry be gigglin in the corner at the back of that there garage.

Last night, Pigface's new bestest friend forever PumpkinHead and his mother came over. Her name is Ma Barker and she gots three boys. PumpkinHead done be her last one.

She done come over to gives back Pigface. She done have Pigface stayin with hers since the weekend. Was really nice without Pigface, that be for sure. But I did kind of miss yellin at someone. Can't yell at SuperDuper cause he be my favourite. Can't yell at Lawnboy Larry cause he be mostly passed out. Can't yell at Creepo cause he be my bestest friend forever. Would yell at KooKoo but then she'll done snap again, go off them happy pills and try to kill me. Sos it just be Pigface.

I made up for not yellin for three whole days by attackin passersbyers. That be fun. I waits in my garage and then when they get real close, I done pounce on them! I likes it best when they scream in fear and run. I don't likes it at all when they laugh at me and call me 'pathetic'. Don't know that word but don't think it be good.

Sos anyways back to Ma Barker. She done brought over funny cigarettes for Lawnboy Larry. She done says they be real good stuff. Lawnboy Larry done seem to be happy with them. He even hugged Ma. I wanted to pounce her her then and snap her in two, only cept she be bigger and wider then me. Sos I didn't. I just snarled a little. Just a little.
Not be likin this here Ma Barker. She says she has three boys and they all be bastards. Their favourite be to terrorize people. I like that. Sos maybe we can be friends. But NOT bestest friends. Cause Creepo be my bestest friend forever and ever.

Anyway, gotta run, Lawnboy Larry done puked.
Later loser,
Tanktop Tammy

ps don't work too hard todays losers- hahahaha ha

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Just Hangin, What Else


Hello folks,

sos its be Saturday. Finally my day to rest! Me and Creepo be sittin on my stoop ALL day. Lawnboy Larry be passed out in the garage. SuperDuper be in his cage screamin. And Pigface be at her new bestest friends house PumpkinHead.

Tonight we gonna have a woot woot hoot hoot party. No balloons though. Lawnboy Larry's loser daddy done not gives us any. Loser daddy was here this morning when hes brought us them foods and cigarettes and beers. He done brought SuperDuper a winter coat too. SuperDuper usually run arounds in his there diaper. KooKoo done told me to put clothes on that kid, but I says to her to shut up or I'll snap her in two. She done says that I should be doin somethin called 'potty trainin'. I have NO idea what that is. I done told her to get back to her side of that fence or I'll pound her. Sos she ran. Now I see her peekin at me through them curtains. Sos I gives her that there middle finger. Haha loser.

Well, that's it from me folks. I gots to go and wake up Lawnboy Larry and get him to light that barbieQ to makes me some weenies. Think I'll slip into my super tight spandex pants for the big party tonight.

See you losers,

Tanktop Tammy

ps that there picture is of Pigface's new bestest friend PumpkinHead

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Thanksgivin Aftermath

Hello folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos just sittin here on my stoop belchin out the remains of them Thanksgivin weenies. Be nice to taste them weenies for the second and sometimes, third times. Thanksgivin dinner be good. Lawnboy Larry and me stuffed that turkey with weenie soaked in beers and then we done basted that there turkey in beers too and Lawnboy Larry sprinkled a little funny cigarettes stuffs on top. It was very good. We had Creepo, CB and their brats over.

We done barbieQed that there turkey til it was near black. Then after eatin, we done sits around the camp fires toastin weenies. Lawnboy Larry got drunk and passed out. He still be outside sleepin. Creepo done did a 'slam dunk' to Pigface again but this time in the fire pit. She done scream somethin awful. I thinks she don't likes that too much.She gots a couple scars now but I says it makes her look prettier. (haha)

I sends her off to school extra early todays sos I can come home and gets more sleeps. Now I'm just sittin on my front stoop, smokin and drinkin and starin and scowlin. It be a good Thanksgivin folks.

Too bad you losers don't get no weenie filled turkeys. Too bad for you, suckers!
later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

ps don't work too hard today sucker

psss hahahaha

pssssss loser

Friday, October 8, 2010

Prep Weenies

Hello folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy.
Sos it be thanksgiving time again. Sos I started prepping my foods. I soaks up the weenies in beer for two days. Then I stuff them weenies into the turkey's butt. Hmmm so delicious. But don't be stealin my recipes bitches. I came up with it all on my own. Well with the help of Lawnboy Larry.
This year Lawnboy Larry wants to add his there funny cigarettes into the turkey's butt too. I told him I'll think about it.

Pigface is at her new bestest friend's house, Pumpkin Head. They be havin fun ALL week terrorizin other kids. SuperDuper be sittin in his cage starin. Lawnboy Larry's passed out on the lawn. Me and Creepo be sittin in our campin chairs smokin and starin and scowlin. It be a good day.

Tonight we gonna have a woot-woot-hoot-hoot party. With Creepo, CB and their brats. We gonna have a competition on who can stay awake the longest. We did this before and LittleBastard always wins. Lawnboy Larry always comes in last. Cause he be passed out ALL the time now. Too much funny cigarettes and not enough cuttin lawns.

Well, that's it for now losers. Gotta go and check on them weenies, see if they be soakin up that there beer. I can smells them from here. Yum.

Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Monday, October 4, 2010

Mrs Weenie Face and Pumpkin Head

Hello folks,

it's me again, Tanktop Tammy. Sos I gots woke up today hearing KooKoo talking VERY loudly. She was out back playin on her swing and talking VERY loud and all sweetsie and high pitched. Her brat was nowhere to be seen. She was alone. I thinks she's off them happy pills AGAIN?
I hate crazy people. Especially crazy people that call on you every day.

Sos, anyways, back to me. I hads to go into see Pigface's teacher, Mrs Weenie Face, this mornin. Sos I slapped on my bestest pair of spandex pants. They squeezes all the good stuff. Picked out my favourite tanktop, slipped on some flip flops and headed out. Damn I looks good.

Sos Mrs Weenie Face done told me that she don't much like Pigface and that she a bully to all the other kids. Except one. There be a boy in Pigface's class called Pumpkin Head. He be terrible too. He done spit on peoples. Pigface and Pumpkin Head becomin bestest friends. I be so happy. Maybe Pigface can goes and play at this here Pumpkin Head's house all day now.

Sos Mrs Weenie Face done tell me to tell Pigface to start listenin to her and stop her bullyin and nasty ways, sos I hauled off and punched Mrs Weenie Face and says 'no way bitch'. I says if she calls me again for no reason then I will snap her in two. Sos then she says we won't have no more of them problems. Sos then I left. Be very glad we could work that out.

Now I'm home hangin with Creepo. KooKoo now be watchin us from her window. Yep, I'm pertty sure she off them there happy pills.
Ok, gotta go losers, gots to get back to my cigarettes and beers.

Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy