new creeps

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy.
Sos this afternoon me and Creepo done be sittin on my front stoop smokin and drinkin and starin. Whens a van done drives up to the house next to Creepos. And a bunch of peoples done flies out and starts 'movins in' furnitures and other stuffs. We watched them ALL afternoon. It be fun.

We finds out two people be movins in. The man one we decided to call Drinker. The female one we decided to call Oinky. She done has big poofy hair and she done likes to wear tanktops. Bonus! She done gots one of the biggest heads I ever done sees. With little needle hole eyes.
And he done likes to wears baseball caps. But he donts wear them backwards likes Lawnboy Larry do. So he not be as cool.

Now we sittin in my garage listenin to them havin a party. Drinker be gettin REAL drunks. He laughs like a hyena. He be given me chills.

Creepo and me not sure bout these new people. Can one street have two loser families. Ain't that gonna be what you call 'competition'? Me and Lawnboy Larry, we done rule this here street. Sos I don't know abouts these new people. They be us, but not as cool. And they only have ONE brat. And me and Lawnboy Larry done have TWO brats.

So there. Anyways, Creepo and mes gonna keep an eye on thems for nows. Not sure if we gonna be friends or enemies. They don't say nothins to us. But most people that sees us just runs. Real fast.
Sos we'll see.

later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

hail, marshmellows and no brats!

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. There be a big black cloud over top me head! I thinks it mights start rainins hail. Lawnboy Larry LOVES hail. He done LOVES to run around outside and sees how many he cans catch in his baseball mitt. Most times he just catches them on his head. Sometimes he gets dents. On his head. What a loser.

Sos Ma Barker done decided to go backs to high schools. She says she be REAL smarts. And she gonna pass this times round. Last times she said she was too busy makin babies insteads of learnins. I didn't learn nothins in school either. I be too busy beatin people up. haha loser!

Today be cold and darks. I think Creepo and me start a little fire in my garage and roast marshmellows. And keeps warm. Sure wish it would warms up sos I can wear my bikini again. Boy am I sexy.

Pigface be goin to Ma Barker's house for sleepsover again (yay) and Lawnboy Larry's loser daddy gonna take my favourite SuperDuper all day today. I need the break.

Now if I can just get rid of Lawnboy Larry.
see you losers,
Tanktop Tammy

bikinis times bitches

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. I just wants to starts off by sayins I hates you all.
Haha loser.

Sos Ma Barker's party wents good on fridays. A few losers done showed up and boughts a couple things. Sos I gots to pick somethin out for twenty dollars. I done picked out tweezers and waxins stuff. Cause I hates Lawnboy Larry's unibrow. I'm gonna waits til he asleep and then wax the dumb bastard! haha!

Sos it be that time of year agains! Bikini times. And this years bikini done be even smaller! Haha losers. Sos I pulled and tugged and stretched and yanked and it FINALLY done snapped into all the right spots! It seems I done gains some more waits over the winter. Oh well. I STILL be lookin goods!

Creepo done says so anyways. Lawnboy Larry done puked. But I think that's cause he still gots the flu. It better BE anyways. Or I will kick his ass.

Done put my mini me Pigface in a bikini too. Best to start her young. Lawnboy Larry done breathed air into our kiddie pool and I plans to spend the WHOLE day sittin in it. With Creepo of course. I've gots me cigarettes, my beers and my suntan lotion. Sos I be sets.

Anyway, gots to get out there and show off my bod. The neighbours wonts know what hit them. Haha!

See you losers,
Tanktop Tammy

shakes, flus and makeups, bitches

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy.
Sos we's all been SICK round heres. First my baby SuperDuper (my favourite) gots sick, then Pigface, then Lawnboy Larry and now ME. Fuck off flu or I will kick your ass. I done spray cleanins goop on everythin. That'll learn it.

I be havin a party this fridays for my friend Ma Barker. She be tryin to sells somethin. I think makeups. I don't use makeups cause I be naturally beeutiful. But I be havin a party for her to sells stuff. I can gets free stuffs from her if I do this. Good for me! So come to my house friday bitches and buys lots of stuffs. You knows you needs it. haha loser.

I still be tryin to sells my TitiBiti shakes. I tried to shove one down Creepo's face but he spewed it out. He done says it tastes likes chalk. I says of course it done tastes like chalks, that ways you won't want it and you lose the fats. Look at me. Well never minds, I don't actually drinks the crap but I do SELLS it. So buy my shakes bitches. Or I'll kick your ass.
Creepo says he only drinks it if he gets a new car. But I wants that car for myself. So I've gots to keep sellins it.

Anyway, Lawnboy Larry done just chucked up breakfast again. All over KooKoo's driveways. I can sees her peekin out from her drapes. She done looks scared yet mad. Haha loser.

Well, gots to get back to my stoop and have another cigarettes.
See you losers later,
Tanktop Tammy

biebers, snots and bowlins

Hello folks,
it's me again, Tanktop Tammy.
Sos spent the hole weekend sittin in my garage. Cause it be rainin. All day. And ALL weekends. It gots my cigarettes wet too.

SuperDuper (that be my favourite brat) done has been sick for three days. He's gots snots all over himselfs. It be gross. I tolds Lawnboy Larry to done cleans him up but he says he be too busy. But I be busier! So the kids covered in snots. So what.

Pigface be with Ma Barker and PumpkinHead. Again. I love when she not be home! Anyways Ma says she gonna takes Pigface what you call 'bowlins'. Don't know 'bowlins' but as long as she ain't buggin me!

Ma Barker done says she gonna write a books. She done gots what she call 'writers block' but now she don'ts. Ma Barker has lovely bleached blond hair and very large thighs. Lawnboy Larry done says she could snap him like a twig with them there thighs. He done smiles when he says that.

Sos me and Creepo's be sittin and smokin and drinkin and hangin and bullyin ALL weekend. In da garage. We be listenin to Justin Bieber. We BLAST bieber REAL LOUD. I hope it drive KooKoo more NUTS!

gots to get back to da garage. More bieber time.

later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

Creepo and me hangins times and NO KooKoo in sight!

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos just sittin here on my stoop. Hangin. With Creepo. Gots my cigarettes and my beers and my campin chair. I be set for a GOOD day. I BE so awesome.

Sos Lawnboy Larry done gots into KooKoo's happy pills agains. He took off on his there skateboard two maybe three days ago. He ain't come back yet.

Creepo and I be happy we don't got to see KooKoo for 2 HOLE days now. WOO HOO. I likes her better OFF them happy pills. I think.
We done sees Ralphio yesterdays. He done slink REAL fast into his house. He done carry a bag with hims. I sure hopes it NOT more happy pills for KooKoo.

Pigface be at school and my favourite SuperDuper be in his box screamin. The cat Creepo done gots him rans away. Too bad.

Anyways, I gots to get back to my stoop. Gots some bullyin to get done.
Later losers,
Tanktop Tammy

it be mothers day bitches

Happy Mother's Day bitches.

It's me again, Tanktop Tammy.
I gots eggactly what I wanted for Mother's Day. Peace and quiet. AND time OFF. I be SO busy.

Sos Lawnboy Larry done tooks our brats to Eddie's house. He done tells me that he's gonna stay with Eddie and make what you call 'cookies' BUT I knows he gonna dump our brats on Eddie and go to that there swamp to lick them toads.

Sos me and Creepo done sit on my stoop ALL day drinkin and smokin and starin and bullyin. It be a GREAT day. Then Lawnboy Larry done come home. Dammit. Sos I asks him where the brats be and says oh. Then runs off down the street.

Two hours later he done shows up with the brats. They done stole some lovely things from Eddie. For me. For Mother's day. I so DESERVE it. I BE so awesome!

Anyways now Lawnboy Larry and the brats be passed out in the garage. And me and Creepo and his lovely bride and there three brats be hangin with us.
It be a good day. For me. Not for you loser. Haha!

see you suckas,
Tanktop Tammy

kookoo be crazy

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos just been sittin heres hangin. What else.

KooKoo done be REAL buggin me and Creepo lately. Yesterdays she done called the police on us. They done said it was cause we be laughin too hard and it be disturbin her and her brat. Then she done called the humane society on us agains cause she thought my favourite SuperDuper be a stray dog and she don't like that he peed on her driveway agains (and besides it don't be SuperDuper who done peed on her there driveway, but it be Lawnboy Larry-haha loser)
Then she done called the polices AGAIN late last night when we be tucked in bed, cause she done said I be snorin TOO loud and it be buggin her and her brat and Ralphio.

Anyways, Creepo and me has had IT. We must get revenge on super crazy BITCH. Maybe we steel her HAPPY PILLS so she go NUTS again and goes back to that there LOONY BIN. Maybe I will call up Dagwood and gets some what you call advice on how to get her back. He be good at that. And besides me and Creepo be SO busy just hangin ALL day that we don'ts got time to think. But we MUST get revenge on KooKoo. Somehow.

Think I'll go calls Dagwood. And gets another beer.
See you losers later,
Tanktop Tammy

just hangins

Hello folks,
it's me again Tanktop Tammy. Sos spends the hole week just hangin. It be rainin ALL weeks but me and Creepo done hang out in my garage. If we done sees anybody walk by, we would jumps out at them and roar. They be SO scared. It be SO funny.

Sos me and Creepos lovely bride done wents out thursdays nights to a bar. We called it 'girls night outs'. We gots real drunk. It be fun!

Then fridays nights me and Creepos wents out to a bar and played some pool and gots drunks.

Saturdays nights I stayed in my garage and gots drunks.

Then Sundays me and Lawnboy Larry done wents out with Creepo and his bride and gots drunks.

It be a good times.

Still thinkin of a revenge for KooKoo.

anyways, I gots to get back to my stoop. My cigarettes done nearly burned out.

See you losers laters,
Tanktop Tammy

ps I REALLY need to gets out tonights. Msge me if you wants to go to a bar tonights.